Motivations and Inspirations

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For all of us, emotional intelligence encompasses five basic areas of mastery. They are:

- Knowing your feelings and using them to make life decisions you can live with.
- Being able to manage your emotional life without being hijacked by it — not being paralyzed by depression or worry, or swept away by rage.
- Persisting in the face of setbacks and channeling your impulses in order to pursue your goals.
- Empathy — reading other people’s emotions without their having to tell you what they are feeling.
- Handling feelings in relationships with skill and harmony – being able to articulate the unspoken pulse of a group, for example.

The scope of these skills means there is indeed room for all of us to learn, grow, and improve. There is a lot to learn here. Learning about emotional intelligence, learning about the tools for energy efficiency; that’s only the beginning. It’s like reading all the books on sailing and small boat sailing. You then have the theory mastered, but you have no hands-on practice. It’s only with practice that we gain mastery of anything. That’s right of our feelings and emotions too!

The scope of these skills means there is indeed room for all of us to learn, grow, and improve. There is a lot to learn here. Learning about emotional intelligence, learning about the tools for energy efficiency; that’s only the beginning. It’s like reading all the books on sailing and small boat sailing. You then have the theory mastered, but you have no hands-on practice. It’s only with practice that we gain mastery of anything. That’s right of our feelings and emotions too!

How do you address so many broad areas?

- Assessment tools are a fantastic way to learn to identify your emotions
- Energy efficiency tools are invaluable in helping you tap into inner wisdom and resources to manage your emotions and know what the best choices are when you are making life decisions.
- Persistence can be learned. In fact, providing challenges and hardships to children, to give them an opportunity to develop persistence and stick-to-itiveness, is intrinsic in many cultures. Goal-setting and the 6 Most- Vital-Things List are just two tools you can apply immediately.
- Developing empathy is powerful in critical business situations like a sales call, a closing, your management style, etc. Using your energy efficiency tools will allow you to pay attention to your instincts in this area instead of second-guessing yourself.
- Once you learn to be the manager of your feelings, it becomes an simple habit to apply in any business or personal relationship.

Mastery of all the basics does not occur overnight. But with practice it comes very quickly – just like learning to ride a bicycle. Once you experience how it’s ’supposed to work’, how energy efficiency is ’supposed to feel’, it’s simpler and simpler to reestablish in a variety of circumstances. That’s where mastery is achieved. That’s where you and everyone in your business benefit from your mastery.

In a survey done by Dr. Laurie Rozakis, author of Idiots Guide to Public Speaking, it was found that many people are frightened to speak before a group. It is the number one dread among Americans, “–and the number 6 is dread of death,” according to Dr. Rozakis.

Even the most experienced speaker gets nervous when speaking in public. But, this dread can be controlled so that you can place your dread to your advantage. This topic teaches us why people are nervous when speaking in front of a crowd and how you can conquer your dread.

DREAD OF THE AUDIENCE

People are worried of rejection by their audience. Thus, many are terrified of speaking in public for dread of being criticized by the crowd for how they look or how they deliver their speech. On the contrary, audiences are very understanding about the speaker’s problem with stage fright. You become more nervous when your dread of the audience increases.

Below are some strategies that can help you overcome your dread of the audience.

> Choose a topic that you like and you are familiar with. The more comfortable you are about your chosen topic, the more confident you are in facing your audience.

> Concentrate on your topic. Focus on your topic and not on yourself. When you start to reckon of your subject matter and not yourself, your dread of speaking will likely decrease.

> Say to yourself: “I am the BOSS.” Trust in your capability of delivering your speech. Showing that you are in charge decreases your dread and increases your confidence in facing the situation.

> Don’t reckon of your audience as a threat. Bridge the gap between your audience and yourself. Analyze carefully to establish rapport. You should consider age, gender and their level of expertise. Remember to analyze your audience.

DREAD OF FAILURE

There are two ways to win over your dread of failure.

> Picture yourself succeeding. If you reckon that you will stutter in front of many people, chances are you will stutter. But if you visualize yourself delivering your speech well, then, you will.

> Face your dread. You cannot overcome your dread unless you show it and admit that you are worried of it.

DREAD THAT YOUR SPEECH IS A TERRIBLE SPEECH

> Write well. Take time to write your speech. Review it and rewrite if necessary. If you are confident with your speech, the less terrified you will be about speaking in public.

> Practice and question for suggestions on how you can improve your speech. Question a friend of relative to act as your audience. Once you have delivered your topic, question for their feedback. Don’t be worried to hear about what they will say. Their feedback can give you insight on what is excellent or terrible in your speech.

An vital aspect of excellent leadership is the ability to work and relate with others.  There are ten qualities that characterize successful leadership in the area of relating and communicating with other people.

1.    Availability
A excellent leader is available and in touch with people. An vital leadership skill is the ability to recognize needs and be able to respond to them quickly and in the moment.

2.    Facilitating Harmonious Relationships
A excellent leader realizes the importance of harmonious relationships and is proactive in making a harmonious atmosphere.  Successful results are born out of harmony rather than conflict. Excellent leadership will prioritize keeping conflict and disharmony to the minimum.

3.    Approachability
A excellent leader is approachable and has an open door policy. Excellent leadership makes an environment where openness and honesty can occur in an atmosphere of fairness rather than judgment.

4.    Appropriate use of authority
Sensitivity to the proper use, and conversely the misuse, of their authority is the whole mark of excellent leadership.  A excellent leader will not use their position of authority for self gratification and promotion or in a controlling and domineering manner.  Successful leaders use their positional power with wisdom and sensitivity to the appropriateness of the circumstances.

5.    Confidentiality
Excellent leaders conduct conferences and meetings in an atmosphere of trust.  They show appropriate confidentiality and respect towards others and about others.

6.    Self Motivated
Excellent leaders set and use goals to motivate themselves and others.  They know the importance of personal and professional development.  Successful leaders do what is necessary to upgrade their knowledge and skills and be on the cutting edge in their field.  Successful leaders not only motivate themselves in personal development but also motivate those around them.

7.    Provide Support
Excellent leaders are able to provide emotional support for those for whom they are responsible.  They recognize the importance of encouragement and inspiring confidence and also give recognition of a job well done.

8.    Maintaining Motivation and Team Spirit
A excellent leader provides incentives and motivators to improve the performance of their employees to challenge them to maintain quality results.

9.    Clear Communication
A excellent leader is an brilliant communicator.  Their leadership involves communicating clearly the objectives and procedures required of a task.  They set clear, attainable, and measurable goals.

10.  An Understanding of Group Dynamics
A excellent leader understands the dynamics of group relationships.  Successful leaders have the ability to lead groups without aggravating conflict and minimizing disharmony. They are inclusive and skilled in making a sense of team unity.  They are adept at balancing the strengths and weaknesses of the group for best results.

Here is a small trivia challenge for you. Who said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere”? If you guessed Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. you would be right.

But, you may not have heard this next quote. Doctor King said, “He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.”

That is a powerful wake up call. Reading it brings to mind a human rights tragedy happening right now.

Many Falun Gong practitioners are struggling to obtain one of the most precious of all human rights. That is the freedom to believe what they choose in the space between their ears.

Here is a not so trivial question. Who is withholding that right from them?

If you answered, “the Chinese Communist Party”, right again! With their track record of killing those who support democracy and those who support other freedoms, it wouldn’t have been hard for you to guess.

What is incredible about the Falun Gong practitioners is that much like Ghandi and Dr. King, they believe in the way of peaceful non-violence. These noble men and women are working towards that precious freedom without despise and without physical conflict. Many have lost their lives in attempting to do so.

Between the torture and killings that are rarely reported in the world’s media, the price paid so far has been extremely high. Your heart aches upon thinking of those who have endured so much torture and for those who have paid the ultimate price to obtain freedom. Yet, the struggle is not won and continues right at this moment.

Admiration for those who remain firm in the face of such terror is boundless. The courage to endure when confronted with some of the extreme tortures thrust upon them is the stuff that only the greatest are made of.

It makes one shudder to contemplate being forced to live in a cage that is too small to stand up and too narrow to sit down. The enormous horror of living in that situation day after day strikes at the very depth of the soul. Everyone should be fully aware of what is happening in China today.

The plight of the Falun Gong practitioners is a noble one, deserving of support. Without freedom, quality of life is diminished to a shadow of what it should be.

In response to their enormous suffering and equally enormous endurance, visit the Faluninfo website to more fully know the tragedy and learn what you can do to help eliminate the continued suffering of these courageous hearted men and women.

Here are two more Dr. King quotes. “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends” and “The time is always right to do what is right”.

The power to make a difference is in your hands. To support the just and excellent is a choice. And the choice you make may be remembered throughout history.

A simple action to take is to call the Chinese Embassy in New York or Chicago and say three simple words, “Stop the Persecution”. They will know exactly what you mean even if they pretend not to.

When the horn of freedom is sounded in times of need, men and women of the highest character heed the call.

Telah Hadir…

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For 15 years I’ve taught trainers and leaders and instructional designers the importance of making any learning event more fun.  I’ve given them reasons and ways to do it.  I’ve written about it many times including

All of the things I have taught and techniques I have used are valuable and helpful.

And they aren’t enough.

The training techniques and thoughts all focus on the learning process.  And while the process is vital; when we focus too closely on a process we can lose sight of the result.

It is like when you tell someone their form is incorrect and ignore that they still out bowl you by 30 pins.  Or when you tell someone they hold the pen incorrect when they write, but they still have pretty handwriting.  Or they seem to do something in an unconventional but successful way.

In all of these cases, the focus on process keeps our sight away from the desired result.

So it is with fun and learning.

Will our learning be deeper and more lasting (as well as more enjoyable) if we do things to make the process fun?  Of course.

But as I already said, that isn’t enough.

If the person leading the training doesn’t know why those techniques work, or believe that they will work, they will just be “using techniques” and it will feel just like that to both the teacher and the student.  It will be like putting a band-aid over a wound far too huge – helpful perhaps, but not really a solution.

So what is the deeper connection?

The Deeper Connection Between Fun and Learning

It is simple.  The result of learning is:

•    Satisfaction
•    Happiness
•    Success
•    New skills
•    Greater confidence
•    More security
•    Enjoyment
•    Fun

The result of our learning something new is supposed to be fun.

This fact is largely why the techniques work – they are putting the process of learning in alignment with a deep human truth.  When we learn we are expressing a deep human need and exercising our greatness.  When we learn we are doing what we know subconsciously we are supposed to be doing.  And when we place our actions in alignment with those needs, it makes us pleased.

The result of learning is deep fun, enjoyment and satisfaction.

Too often we forget this – both as students and as teachers.  Learning is fun.

Perhaps this article helps you know why the best trainers seem to make the learning process fun and engaging.  Perhaps now you know why you use those types of thoughts.  Perhaps you even see ways you could teach coworkers, peers and your kids things more effectively.

I hope so.

But my real hope in sharing this article with you is that you reckon about your personal experiences and beliefs about learning.

This deeper connection between learning and fun matters to us – and not just because we might be teaching someone else – but because we are learners too.

And we’ll be more effective learners, more productive learners and more successful in our lives when we recapture the joy and yes, fun that inherently comes from learning new things.

How often have you heard the comment, “He or she is a born leader?”  There are certain characteristics found in some people that seem to naturally place them in a position where they’re looked up to as a leader.

Whether in fact a person is born a leader or develops skills and abilities to become a leader is open for debate.  There are some clear characteristics that are found in excellent leaders. These qualities can be developed or may be naturally part of their personality.  Let us explore them further.

Seven Personal Qualities Found In A Excellent Leader

1.    A excellent leader has an exemplary character. It is of utmost importance that a leader is trustworthy to lead others. A leader needs to be trusted and be known to live their life with honestly and integrity.  A excellent leader “walks the talk” and in doing so earns the right to have responsibility for others. Right authority is born from respect for the excellent character and trustworthiness of the person who leads.

2.     A excellent leader is enthusiastic about their work or cause and also about their role as leader.  People will respond more openly to a person of passion and dedication.  Leaders need to be able to be a source of inspiration, and be a motivator towards the required action or cause. Although the responsibilities and roles of a leader may be different, the leader needs to be seen to be part of the team working towards the goal. This kind of leader will not be worried to roll up their sleeves and get dirty.

3.     A excellent leader is confident. In order to lead and set direction a leader needs to appear confident as a person and in the leadership role.  Such a person inspires confidence in others and draws out the trust and best efforts of the team to complete the task well.  A leader who conveys confidence towards the proposed objective inspires the best effort from team members.

4.    A leader also needs to function in an orderly and purposeful manner in situations of uncertainty. People look to the leader during times of uncertainty and unfamiliarity and find reassurance and security when the leader describes confidence and a positive demeanor.

5.    Excellent leaders are tolerant of ambiguity and remain cool, composed and steadfast to the main purpose.  Storms, emotions, and crises come and go and a excellent leader takes these as part of the journey and keeps a cool head.

6.    A excellent leader as well as keeping the main goal in focus is able to reckon analytically. Not only does a excellent leader view a situation as a whole, but is able to break it down into sub parts for closer inspection. Not only is the goal in view but a excellent leader can break it down into manageable steps and make progress towards it.

7.    A excellent leader is committed to excellence. Second best does not lead to success. The excellent leader not only maintains high standards, but also is proactive in raising the bar in order to achieve excellence in all areas.

These seven personal characteristics are foundational to excellent leadership. Some characteristics may be more naturally present in the personality of a leader. But, each of these characteristics can also be developed and strengthened. A excellent leader whether they naturally possess these qualities or not, will be diligent to consistently develop and strengthen them in their leadership role.

After 3 long days of a very intensive workshop in Toronto, a group of us chose to go canoeing for a day, up in Barre, Ontario (an hour north of Toronto) on the Nottawasaga River. It was a warm day, the water was warm, and no one else was on this pristine flat-water river winding through a protected swamp.

We had idyllic moments out of time, we had mishaps and laughs, and we had the slogs of carrying canoes and gear (called a portage) around logjams in the river more than a few times, as well the insufferable companionship of mosquitoes.

Why am I sharing this with you? I want to share some of the pings of the day, and the pings were all about leadership and the dynamics of leadership. It was reassuring and inspiring to see leadership arise from a number of different people in the group adding strength and depth all around.

Fantastic leaders are always working on themselves. In this case, the leaders never stopped paddling. They led by example. In spite of the mosquitoes, they stayed focused on the objective of the day, 19 km through utter wilderness.

Exemplary leaders don’t push or manage a lot. They problem solve, then inspire and motivate the team. You can be a strong leader without being impolite. When a canoe capsized, a leader didn’t wait for the organizer to suggest it, a leader just handed people life jackets and said “Place it on”, because it was the right thing to do. Another leader figured out how to recover, right and empty the canoe.

Leadership means learning to be bold without being a bully. To build your influence, you’ve got to walk the talk in front of your group, team, or clients. You’ve got to tackle the first problem, seize the moment and make quick decisions. In our case, it was a leader choosing the portages.

Leadership also means learning to develop humor – but without folly. It’s OK to be witty but not silly, to have fun and be amusing without being foolish. A leader’s response to the first person getting dunked in the river was to place a positive spin on the slight mishap — just like we all do for a baby learning to walk or a child learning to ride a bicycle. This leadership skill was brought out in many of our leaders later on the trip when we kept sinking into the mud, or shoes got stuck in the mud. One leader unabashedly sang ancient songs on the portages as a distraction from mosquitoes feasting on us.

Leaders are excellent at dealing with reality. They accept life as it is. This is not fatalism or the opposite of optimism. It’s practicality. It’s a constructive approach to the truth. On the river, when the mosquitoes and logjams got to us all late in the day, there was a dramatic switch in group dynamics. Leaders recognized what had to be done, picked up the pace and just did it without discussion, negotiation or complaining.

In the end, I reckon we had more fun and the adventure was more memorable because of the challenges that brought out the strengths in each of us. As leaders, we want to inspire the people around us to bring out their strengths too. So what adventure will you organize to inspire the people around you?

In our competitive world today, leadership skills are crucial to any successful business. What is leadership? Leadership is commonly used to refer to activities such as conducting, guiding, or directing people; initiating activity. But, leadership is also used to refer to someone who is a leader. How can leadership be applied in so many ways and what constitutes a leader in all of these situations? The answer is contained in the realization that perhaps the most fundamental characteristic of leadership, and therefore of leaders, is personal leadership.

Some individuals are born leaders while others have to procure the skill and talent to successfully make their mark as a leader. It is obvious that some individuals have the confidence and the charisma to make themselves role models for others to follow. These individuals do not require much guidance in nurturing their inherent talent.

But there are scores of others for whom developing leadership qualities is key to their success. Leadership skill training is of immense significance in the present day corporate world. Leadership skill training is imparted to concerned individuals to help them derive the maximum benefit as far as acquiring leadership skill is concerned.

At times it is not very simple for new leaders to change their role from a contributor to a leader. Leadership skill training empowers an individual to have faith in others and also assists him in utilizing his time fruitfully with others by grooming people with the aid of guidance, help, and training.

These skills may be tough to buy, so the switchover to the status of leadership can be very demanding and at times unthinkable in the absence of effective guidance and help.

What is personal leadership? It is the ability to lead others and yourself in the direction you want your life to take. The ability to define what you want out of life and how you are going to get there is the first step in developing leadership. It is only the beginning because personal leadership means “leading”, “directing”, and “taking action”. It means living each day to the fullest. It means developing goals that you want so terribly that you live each day with enthusiastic ardor for your goals, yourself, and all who are close to you. Knowing what you want out of life; knowing what success is to you; knowing what your goals are; knowing that you are going to achieve those goals regardless of what other people reckon, say, or do, is the essence of personal leadership.

Personal leadership also means “accountability”. It means that you have chose to use the talents that are unique to you and will develop them further to reach your goals. It means that you realize that you have the potential to develop further. It means that you have determined the course of your destiny—you are the master of your life.

Leadership training also helps leaders who have the inherent talent in them to advance their ability and sense of judgment to transform themselves into leaders of fantastic repute.